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  • Writer's pictureTroy Rawlings

Men Don't Like My Mouth!!

Dear Troy,

I have a question for you.
Why is it that men don’t like mouthy women? Guys shut down, and won’t answer their phone to avoid conflict! I know I need to change my ways when it comes to my mouth, because that (my mouth) is or was my weapon. I was hurt by all the men in my life starting with my father. So I know hurt people do hurt people. Any advice or suggestions. I want to give what I get in return.
Thanks again for your ebook. I passed it along to friends& family!


Dear MOUTH ALMIGHTY, First let me apologize for the delay in my response, been a little hectic. Ok..

Let me start by answering your question upfront:

Why is it that men don’t like mouthy women?

Well for 1 - speaking for myself, I don't like the back and forth of undue conflict. I'm not linguistically or mentally skilled or prepared to go toe to toe with a woman, especially my lover, my mate, the woman who is supposed to ease my mind. There's a scripture that says "A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways." That's actually not deep, it's scientific! Most men are compartmentalized in our thinking. It's why we usually do good with knocking out One thing at a time, like that Honey Do List lol. Whereas women can think about multiple things and handle them pretty well, and women have more white brain matter than men, allowing for more emotional processing of those things.

2 - Most men can't determine if you're venting, questioning, arguing... when a man is confused he checks out

Now there are men who like drama... a good fight to some men leads to passion, hot sex, but... most of those men are damaged too.

For you, believe me... I understand parental hurt and the fucked up trickle down effects of it; I suggest this... focus on your good, focus on what you like, what calms you. Your SELF WORK AND SELF CARE IS PARAMOUNT!!

Start to learn the things that deprogram and diffuse your mind before it ignites and explodes. Just like you schedule work, lunch, and workouts you HAVE TO Schedule your #METIME into EVERYDAY! Do not expect SOMEONE to MAKE you happy, Happy, the feeling, is fleeting... it comes and goes. JOY is INTERNAL & ETERNAL. Your joy is inside you and blossoms like a flower if it's nurtured and watered properly. Change how you DO YOU... LITERALLY! You are the most important Common Denominator in your relationships.

Here is a Basic SelfCare MeTime regiment of things I suggest 3B's

BATHE - Hot Baths, Candles, Dr Teals Bubble Bath, Bath Salts,

BEVERAGE - Water, Tea, Wine, Coffee, Cocoa - put your feet up listen to your favorite chill music and relax

BASK - Meditate, Read, Masturbate...whatever let's your mind be free from the normal day to day

Give yourself just 1 hour of good uninterrupted SelfCaring MeTime once a day! We give so much to others and tend to diss ourselves. It takes its toll! All of the things I mentioned are THERAPEUTIC. Oh and most importantly, CHANGE HOW YOU TALK TO YOURSELF. In your head and literally. I have yet to meet a person that argues or is upset a lot that doesn't speak to themselves worse than they do others. Take control of your thoughts.

And therapy helps to, but start this self-care regimen. We tend to attract what we project, but once we grow and heal a bit, we attract the good we need.

Let me know if this helps

One Love!

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